I’ve been feeling unsettled and behind. This happens every time something big happens that changes my normal.
My new normal starts and I expect acclimating to it will be measured in weeks. I don’t know why I think this.
It takes me a year for my new normal to feel just normal.
Adapting to a new normal takes mental energy. That means less of it is available for other things, which leads to feeling not quite 100% “normal”.
I took a moment to come up with a list of events that I think “change the normal”:
Starting school in a new building (ex: Elementary to Middle, or Middle to High School)
Starting college or leaving home
Graduating or ending school
Moving in with someone else
Starting or ending a job
Moving to a new home (a change in city or state is bigger, but I still seem to find a normal within a year)
The start of a relationship (marriage, even to someone you’ve been with, can feel like a new normal)
Having a child (each one starts a new normal)
The end of a relationship
Death of a loved one
A major medical diagnosis or surgery
When something drastic happens that really affects your perspective - could be internal/emotional like a breakup or external/physical like a move - it could take up to a whole year to really feel like that new normal… is no longer new.
If someone you’re close with is going through something, it can affect your normal too.
No matter how many times I think “I should be through it by now” adjusting to the new normal can’t be rushed.
It’s gonna take the time it needs.
I need all the seasons, all the holidays, and all the big events like birthdays and anniversaries to happen. It’s not a light switch at a year though… things gradually get easier as the year goes on.
So, if you’re feeling off or not quite settled, think back over the past 12 months. Has anything affected your normal?